Let the Children be Children While They Can

How do you tell children that have been involved in multiple activities for several years that they are now unable to because their father’s wife doesn’t agree? The children are missing out because the father and his wife gave the children an ultimatum: participate in activities and miss out on time with them because the wife doesn’t want to go to the events, or not participate in the activities they enjoy so they don't miss out on visits. The father’s final decision was that one child could participate and the other one could not. There is no communication with the father without the wife interfering and making the final decision for him. The child who was told they could not participate made several attempts to call and text the father to ask why they couldn’t participate and never received a response. This resulted in the child crying and upset because they couldn’t understand why the father was being this way. The child couldn’t understand why the father said that one child could participate and the other one could not. The one who the father said could participate was feeling guilty and was going to not participate if the sibling couldn’t because “it wouldn’t be fair”. This wasn’t fair to the children to have to make these decisions and worry about consequences or hurting their siblings’ feelings by one who wants to participate having to sit and watch the other knowing they cannot. This left the mother find a way that would enable both children to participate and not conflict with the father’s visits. After talking with the board officials of the activities, both children were able to participate with the understanding that one of the children would not be able to participate when with the father. This made both children happy.

Sometimes adults need to grow up and realize that they are hurting the children in their attempts to make the mother look bad. In reality, they are making themselves look pathetic. Eventually, as the children get older, they will see what the father is doing and figure out why. Hopefully, when they come to this realization, they stand up for themselves and speak their voice. Until then, the children are being used as pawns in a game that they have no business participating in and that should not be going on. These games are only damaging to the mental and emotional health of the children. Sometimes a child will act out in various ways because of the circumstances, education will suffer and grades will drop because the children cannot concentrate, or they may become withdrawn from everything and everyone, thus leading to depression and anxiety. If you don’t want to be the reason your child suffers from mental health issues or becomes suicidal, don’t use your children to hurt their mother. The innocent children are the ones being punished by your feeble attempts to make the mother look bad. The mother is not being directly hurt by the father; it is the emotional state that the children are in that hurts her.

If you’re not going to grow up and be a supportive parent to your children and show them positivity and help them with things they like to do that will help them succeed in the future, take a step back and see what you’re doing to the children or step out and let them be happy. They are only young once and have no business dealing with adult issues even before they become teenagers. Let the children be free and happy. Be thankful that you are blessed with the opportunity to be a part of their lives. Support them in what they do instead of not allowing them to do these things because someone else won’t be enjoying themselves. It is about helping the children succeed, be there for them when they fall, love them for who they are and who they want to be, support them in their decisions, teach them how to make good decisions, and help them understand how to be a good person in this insane world filled with hatred. Don't show them how to hurt and manipulate people, how to get pleasure from another's pain, ignorance, deceit, how to lie, or hate. Show them love, support, and understanding. Don't make them feel afraid to pray when they're around you. Sometimes that conversation with God may be the only thing that makes the children feel safe and gets them through another day feeling positive. 

THEY’RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE!!!