Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Ignorance is Bliss

It isn't easy dealing with my children's father. He is against everything I do with my children. He even goes as far as to talk them out of doing the things they love to do and have been doing for years, as well as the new things that they want to try. He says it is an "inconvenience" for him because he "has to travel", even though he is the one who chose to move just 45 minutes away. He wasn't in their life for 2-3 years, and all of a sudden he decided he wants to play daddy. That would be fine if he was supportive of them, but he and his wife try to undermine everything I have done to raise my boys properly.
To all of you single moms out there who have to deal with fathers like this, know that you are not alone. I had no idea that some of the people that I know have to do with this same issue.
Things have been terrible over the past 6 months dealing with him. He is cause scenes at sporting events and other extracurricular activities as well as injuring me. This is when I started talking to people to let them know that something was wrong and to keep an eye when he was around. I know that it's not their responsibility to "babysit" me, but I want witnesses for when something does happen. Yes, I said when not if. I was amazed how many said, "I understand." What shocked me was when this came from as many fathers as it did mothers.
I know it's difficult at times to even go out in public when you know you have to deal with your children's father when he is abusive and does what he can to make you look bad. It's embarrassing not only for you as a mother, but for your children is well. He should be embarrassed for his actions, but instead it is our innocent children who are embarrassed and eventually become withdrawn. As a loving mother, this makes my heart lead for my children who never asked to have to deal with this.
Please, whatever you do, do not let yourself get to the point that you let him have that control over you and your children. That is their goal.
Don't go through this alone. NEVER feel ashamed of raising your children to be the best they can be and being yourself.

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